THE TRAIN, THE MOUSE AND THE ACORN

by Steve Young

If you happen to be an evening MSNBC fan, haven't had an opportunity to turn on Fox News, or have yet to open your deluge of forwarded emails from your prolific Republican cousin, conservative talk radio and TV were here to give the Folks the real story behind the Stimulus -- uh, I mean, Spending Bill. Get it? ÔCause the bill costs money. Heh-heh.

Did you know that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid included a provision in the economic recovery bill calling for $8 billion to be spent on a high-speed rail line between Southern California and Las Vegas?

Thanks to talk radio, the Folks know.

Did you know that House Leader, Nancy Pelosi put $20 million into the stimulus package to keep the San Francisco area's salt marsh mouse from perishing?

And thanks to talk radio and Fox News, real Americans know that there is zillions in the bill to aid ACORN, those bastards who tried to register Mickey Mouse so he could vote for Democrats.

These points were made over and over last week and every one of them are strong evidence that talk radio's presence as a forum for information you'll never hear in the mainstream media -- if they were true.

Yeah, well they're not.

Y'see, the bill does not award moneys to any specific rail project. In fact, any funding would first have to be approved by Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. -- wait for it, wait for it -- a former Republican congressman.

Probably just an oversight.

And Nancy Pelosi's putting in the big bucks into the stimulus package to keep a San Francisco-value rodent from biting the big on: Ah-h-h. Nah. In fact, the guy who started the story on the Republican tour, Michael Steel, a spokesman for House Minority Leader John Boehner, has now admitted that there is "no language in the bill that says this money will go to this project."

Cha. If you're going to use that as proof what Glenn Beck is spreading, um, inaccuracies, well I guess you'll just believe anything coming out of Boehner's office.

And finally, the money going to those nuts (get it?) over at ACORN, isn't going over there. It doesn't even name ACORN as a recipient for the "neighborhood stabilization funds," nor do they intend to apply for them if they were eligible, which they are not.

Now, who are you going to believe, talk show radio and Fox News or the facts? I think a quick O'Reilly Poll will reveal that the Folks know that the truth is just a Liberal Mainstream Media attempt to get the Fairness Doctrine reinstated.

Believe me, as soon as the Left finds some more cartoon characters to register, they'll be wanting the truth reported everywhere.

Now don't get me started on that Global Warming hoax? Did you see how warm it was last Tuesday?